Perfectionism and Confidence: Friends or Foes?

confidence perfectionism Jul 04, 2023

Hey there, Gorgeous!

Today, let's dive into a fascinating topic that many of us can relate to: perfectionism and confidence.

I feel like I’ve danced with this connection most of my adult life. I’m sure we would all probably agree that striving for excellence is a good thing, but how does it affect our confidence levels? Are these two qualities best buddies or eternal enemies? I thought I would explore this and share it as my very first BLOG!!! (Because hey – I channelling the confidence to start a blog without a clue how; meaning I have to embrace the fact that this won’t be perfect.)

Ok so let’s start with Perfectionism: The Quest for Flawlessness…

Picture this: you have high standards, and you set the bar sky-high for yourself. You want everything to be perfect, from your work projects to your personal life. That's the essence of perfectionism. It's like having a relentless drive to achieve excellence and have outstanding outcomes all-round. Sounds pretty good, right? (Also exhausting)

Confidence: The Ultimate Boost…

Now, let's talk about confidence. It's that inner belief in your abilities and a sense of self-assurance that allows you to show up with courage and propels you forward. When you're confident, you radiate positivity and tackle challenges with gusto. It's like having your own personal cheerleader, urging you to go after your dreams and conquer the world. Who wouldn't want that?

The Perfectionism-Confidence Tango: The dance of this combination…

HOLD on a second! Perfectionism and confidence don't always dance harmoniously together. In fact, sometimes they step on each other's toes, leading to a rather awkward tango. Here's why

When you're a perfectionist, your pursuit of flawlessness can give you an initial boost of confidence. It feels good to strive for excellence and achieve remarkable results. You receive praise and recognition, and your confidence soars. You think, "Hey, check it out - I've got this!"

But then, things start to get tricky. Perfectionism can become a tough taskmaster, setting impossible standards that even superheroes would struggle to meet as we constantly raise the bar. Suddenly, setbacks and failures happen. You find yourself falling into a cycle of self-criticism, focusing on your flaws and mistakes rather than celebrating your achievements. It’s now that our negative self-talk pipes up, causing our confidence to take a nosedive, and suddenly self-doubt creeps in like an unwelcome guest at a party.

Breaking Free from the Paradox: Does it really have to be one or the other?...

First, it's essential to recognize that perfection doesn't exist. I am here for striving for greatness (that’s just a part of my personality), however; I feel it’s important to embrace the idea that making mistakes and learning from them is part of the journey. Shift your focus from the unattainable ideals (and the inevitable Fck ups) and focus more on the progress you've made, and continue to make.

Next, celebrate your achievements, big or small. Acknowledge your efforts, learn to give yourself credit, and cultivate a positive mindset. Remember, confidence grows when you appreciate your own worth and value.

Lastly, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a close friend. Embrace imperfections as part of your unique story, and let go of the need for perfection.

Can we embrace Imperfect Confidence…

In conclusion, perfectionism and confidence can be tricky partners, but they don't have to be sworn enemies. By letting go of perfectionism's unattainable demands and embracing imperfections with confidence, we can create a healthier and happier balance.

So, my loves, let's ditch the pursuit of perfection and start embracing imperfect confidence. Remember, it's not about being flawless—it's about embracing who we are, celebrating our achievements, and having the courage to take on new challenges with a hot side of self-belief.


Big love and CIAO for now

Carla Xx 


Confidence coach.

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